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The Magic of Money
Money is a magical thing. When people have few possessions in money, they are simple and easy to please. Money complicates life, and dissatisfaction increases when more money is accrued. Money itself does not have desire, yet it brings desire and dreams to all of us. Everyone wants it.
I need money, too. However, money is not to be used to satisfy one’s self, but to share it with all beings, to share it with those who are in need, especially the poor elderly with no family.
It Should Feel Right
People who are inside the house always think it is better to be outdoors, while those outside always imagine how those inside are enjoying themselves. In fact, we always think that we will be satisfied only when we get what we do not already have. As a result, we develop the delusion that the grass is always greener on the other side. Such delusion often misleads us in our judgment, but for most people this instinct of desire is important because they rely on it in their daily lives.
I do not mean that feeling such instinct is bad. However, you should feel right rather than simply follow other people.
Be Yourself
Comparison makes sense only if it is made between things of the same kind. Generally, comparison is frustrating and distressing as we attempt to compare our unique selves with others and try to keep up with them. That is what we deserve for doing this unnecessary thing as there is no need to compare with others. Every person is unique, including so-called identical twins. Therefore people should not be compared to one another. Instead we should compare ourselves from one day to another. What more did I accomplish today than yesterday?
Affirm yourself. Everyone has a right to life even for the humblest and tiniest. There is no need to compare yourself to others, to envy them or imitate them. Such behavior and thinking negates our own personhood, and creates a sense of inferiority and dissatisfaction as a result.
Act truthfully. There is no need to fear how others might judge you. Do not expect praise or compliments from others to determine who you are or who you should be. These judgment and praise can not benefit you at all; in fact they serve to make people increasingly arrogant and force us to put on masks that prevent us from being our real selves.
Those who live for admiration from others usually wear a mask in everyday life.
Parenting
Many people, including entire families, come to our monastery for peace and quiet. Children are always smilingly happy and cheerful there, but adults are often less transparent. They have such different reactions to the same surrounding, environment and scenery.
Families can experience a strong sense of closeness if we can join the kids to immerse ourselves into the solidarity of the monastery. In such a moment, the wilderness will blossom.
Adults often teach children what is right and wrong. What if children disagree with your definition of “wrong”? Some adults might spank their children for being disagreeing with them (which is domestic violence). Children cry because they do not think they deserve the hit or they cry from the pain, but not necessarily from being remorseful because they are wrong. Sometimes the adults become unduly punitive toward children under their care because they are emotionally disturbed, not because the children are wrong.
If you really love your children, use your mind to see them as they truly are. Do not force your own patterns on them, but give them freedom to grow and develop their own styles.
Power
Power often drives a person crazy. He or she then thinks that they can play at being a god, capable of doing anything. Unfortunate people become the victims because his words are the law. This situation happens quite frequently. It has been a characteristic of a society and traditions that places value on the authority of fatherhood.
I commiserate with parents who do not understand “love.” It is worth keeping old traditions, but keeping unhealthy traditions only diminishes the value of good traditions and makes the bad ones even worse. The most valuable tradition to be preserved is parental discipline, not to replicate ourselves.
Selfishness
Selfishness is like spring snow: it brings infinite hope. (Spring snow indicates the beginning of a new year.) It is enjoyable to be selfish, regardless of what others think about you. However, did you ever consider the two sides -- the good and bad -- of selfishness? Let me tell you that selfishness is like snowflakes falling in the desert. Our selfishness is short-lived as it melts into the desert of our own greed and cravings… It is all in vain!
You might think that selfishness is helpful, while in fact, we are losing, not gaining anything from our selfishness.
Our mind is an illusionist. When will it manifest perfect peace (Nirvana)?
Internal transformation versus external change
The real transformation of a person is internal and not just external change in the action. If our consciousness does not transform with the change in our behavior, this kind of change is external and is just delusional for others. It can not fool ourselves. No one can truly benefit from this.
Repentance and humbleness
To be humble, people have to be able to admit their own mistakes. The best repentance is to learn and change from our mistakes.
However, a dharma practitioner does not need to live with self-condemnation for his wrong-doings for his whole life. He only needs a little regret. It is meaningless to condemn yourself as a sinner, for self-condemnation would only turn you into your own enemy. How can we practice dharma with mercy if we are our own enemy? We can be truly righteous without self-condemnation, and we are more at ease with ourselves if we are cautious with our mind and action. Being cautious is not giving pressure to ourselves, but being aware and reflective of our thoughts and actions − then everything else will follow.
Past wrong-doings are not a sin but a disease. They are to be healed with proper medicine, not by a verdict.
When you see someone kneel down before an altar, it looks like he is sincerely confessing and praying. Actually this is usually not the case. He is trying to bribe the bodhisattva to do what he wants. He even knows more than the god, and attempts to tell the god what to do.
The true sharing is to be grateful for having the opportunities to give, yet anticipating thankfulness from the monastery.
Love and hatred
itis important to get rid of anticipation in love. Otherwise you will be hurt because your dreams will be shattered by anticipation. It is not love that falls apart. It is your internal projection in mind that changes easily. Once your fantasy is broken, so is your love. However, the one you love is still the same person you knew in the beginning.
When you are deeply in love with someone, hatred must accompany such deep and strong love. To conceal the hatred so you won't feel it in your strong love, you try your best to sustain and maintain this love.
However, our brain likes new and fresh excitement and becomes negligent and sometimes repellent to what we used to have. Such is how human brain works, alternating good with bad, positive with negative for hundreds or thousands of lives, and we need not be afraid of this. Yet if you don't understand how the brain functions, you might want to possess what you love, and you might hate what you cannot have.
As a result, we suffer from our deep love. This does not mean that we would not be happy in our love. Nonetheless, happiness hardly outweighs suffering, and that is why it is important to practice “no ego”.
Be calm and still as we remain watchful of the rise and fall of our love and hatred. Do not be agitated by it, and avoid falling into extremes as your love and hatred develop. Indulgence and repression only brings you more suffering and pain. The only way to get rid of your suffering and pain is to practice detailed reflection upon “no ego”. In this way, suffering is a good teacher.
Love and hatred go together, like two sides of the same thing. You have to understand love − to immerse into love and not to be constrained by it. Otherwise love will be a burden and can turn into hatred. Do not let love and hatred be your only emotions. This can lead to as the more you want something, the farther out of your reach it can seem. Do not crave for being loved, nor do you fight against hatred. Be the one without love or hatred — only kindness existsin you.
Immerse yourself completely into love, without seeing the love you give or the one you love, only love itself. Only this is the true love: the love that lasts forever. Love is the true sharing: giving, offering, and devoting − with insistence, perseverance, and determination. Till then, you will care no more whether there is love or not − you are beyond the whole of love. At this moment, your love will be unconditional and selfless, it can emit warmth to others and sometimes leave people with sexual fantasies, which is what you need to be careful about and keep “aware” of.
Nature versus perfection
Seeking perfection means pursuing personal performance, which is actually a desire to extend ego. Some people tirelessly work for perfectionism to earn envy and admiration from others. Such envy and admiration for perfectionism only comes from people who have no ego and appreciate those who pretend knowing everything.
The natural existence is perfect itself, and anything added by human beings destroys the perfection.
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